So You'd Like To Be Taoiseach?

How long will that take you?

Ascending to the highest political office in the land of Taoiseach is akin to starting as a bedraggled hill walker to becoming a mountaineer scaling the icy heights of Mount Everest—with one notable difference. Instead of enduring snowstorms and avalanches, you must navigate the daily deluge of dirty looks from fellow climbers with daggers behind their backs and dubious expressions. Welcome to the political ascent, where backbiting is an extreme sport and ambition is your only Sherpa.

To become Taoiseach, you will first have to navigate your political party’s rubber chicken circuit—the proving ground for every ambitious politician. These soirees are less about merrymaking and more about perfecting the art of small talk peppered with grandiose yet vague policy ideas that talk to the party faithful. You must be prepared to answer questions about how you’ll save Ireland from its absurd planning and defamation laws or merely babysit the economy like you would a wayward child. Such inquiri…