Mick Wallace

And The Dead Cat Theory Of Politics

You come home to the wife and kids after a long day’s work and there’s murder in the house. Little Paddy is running around with a crayon stuck up his nose, Young Mary has bitten the dog’s ear off and toddler Liam is about to ingest the dishwasher tablets thinking they’re sweeties. The wife is walking around the kitchen with a fork stuck in her neck after accidentally tripping over one of the kids, no one knows whose kid this is. Pandemonium is king in this house, not you. The wife starts criticising you for not doing enough cleaning or cooking or man things. Who knows what man things are these days, but you’re not doing enough of them! The kids are criticising you, hell even Magnum the cat is criticising you! You’re sick of all this chaos and criticism so you grab Magnum the cat, slit the poor kitty’s throat and throw him on the kitchen table.

Ya, the kids are upset Magnum the kitty is dead and for a small cat, there’s a surprising amount of blood everywhere. The whole family is shoc…